The way human beings talk to one another is hugely important. Good communicators are more successful in life than bad ones. They get better jobs, hold onto their jobs, and uphold longer lasting relationships in all areas of their life.
Here are 10 must-know communication tips for a happy relationship.
Written by:Olotu Junior
1.Spend Time Just Talking
How much time do you spent just talking one-on-one with your partner? I’m not talking about time spent talking with them while doing something else. For example, perhaps you talk to them about your day while you both watch TV. Or maybe you text him throughout the day while you both work and do other stuff.
This isn’t the kind of one-on-one communication you need.
Each day, spend a bit of time just talking to each other. Switch off the TV. Put away your phones. Talk about your day, your plans … anything you want. But just talk – don’t do anything else.
2.Remember That He Can’t Read Your Mind
For whatever reason, some women expect our men to be able to read our minds, and we get insanely annoyed when he can’t.
“I can’t believe you didn’t think I’d want to spend the weekend with you!” we scream at our poor, defenceless man who is trying to formulate a response.
“But you never said!” is all he can summon.
“I didn’t think I HAD to say!”
This kind of misunderstanding happens a lot, but you know how you can avoid it? By speaking up!
Don’t assume he’s going to know instinctively what your plans are. Guys still struggle to make a piece of toast without burning the house down, so telepathy is totally out of reach just yet.
3.Leave Your Ego At The Door
Whenever you talk to your partner about something important, you need to leave your ego out of the room. If you approach topics with an egotistic attitude, it will only end in disaster.
Why? Because our ego’s can get in the way of the truth of the matter. We don’t want to look wrong or bad, so we erect defences to make sure we stay looking good. We deny things, throw out ridiculous accusations and shout “I don’t wanna talk about it anymore!”
This is harmful because it’s preventing proper, mature conversation between yourself and your partner.
4.Keep Your Tone In Check
I remember when my partner used to tell me off for my tone.
“Stop speaking at me in that stressed tone!”
So now I make sure to always keep it in check. It can be the difference between the conversation going well or badly.
5.Talk Things Out In Person
Discussing a big issue via text because you’re both at work and you feel as though this really can’t wait is just a bad, bad idea right from the off.
All big issues MUST be talked out in person. This is a rule that many of us in 2016 are forgetting all about. Talking things out in text leads to more misunderstandings, and you’re not giving yourselves the best platform to explain your sides of the story.
If your partner is insisting that you talk about things via text right now, call him up.
6.Say What’s On Your Mind
It’s MUCH worse to bite your tongue than it is to say what’s on your mind. If something your partner is doing is bothering you, tell them. If you don’t, they will keep doing it until eventually you begin to physically resent them. Not cool.
When your partner talks to you, do you actively listen to him? Or do you partly switch off because something else wants 50% of your attention, such as the TV or your phone?
If you have to shout “I’m listening!” it means you aren’t actively listening. Not only does it frustrate him, but it can also damage your relationship.
When he’s got something he really wants to talk to you about, lend him both your ears. Engage him. Ask him questions about what he’s just said. Show that you care. In this way, nothing comes back to bite you later on, such as “I told you I’d be going to the Super Bowl with Jimmy!” .. “When??” .. “Last night! I KNEW you wasn’t listening!!”
8.You Don’t Need Win All The Time
Do you like being right? I did. I especially liked my partner telling me I was right when I knew I was right.
But guess what?
A) It’s okay to be wrong and admit you’re wrong. Every relationship needs humility.
B) Sometimes, you have to say you were wrong even when you know you’re right for the sake of your relationship.
This is just basic communication skills that many of us haven’t yet mastered. Admitting you are wrong from time to time will restore some harmony to your relationship.
9.Don’t Dig Up The Past
If you always bring up something he did wrong in the past each time you guys have an argument, it’s time to stop doing that.
10.Be Open To New Opinions
I’m not sure why it is, but some of us really don’t like to hear new opinions that contradict our own. Perhaps we’ve become so conditioned to accept reality as we know it to be that we refuse to listen to anything that counters our viewpoint. Or maybe we’re just scared to hear something different.
Either way, it isn’t healthy to always shut your partner down when he comes out with a wildly different opinion to yours. Hear him out. Maybe you’ll even find yourself agreeing with it. And if you don’t, calmly explain why not.